Category: Let's talk
How do you feel when somebody, doesn't matter if they are blind or sighted, tells you that not only are you being constantly under surveillance when out in public, but you are an ambassador for the blind. What do you feel your responsibilities are in having to be shouldered with this role, or do you think it's utter crap? I was in a discussion last week with a group of blind people, many of whom were learning blindness skills and other stuff, and the person leading the discussion brought up this idea and presented it as fact or truth. I really don't know if I fully buy it. I do not want to act rudely or irresponsibly in public, but I do feel like all I want to do is relax and be me, and when I'm told I'm to be some kind of representative, that tells me I can't be me, I have to be perfect, always positive and happy no matter what, and otherwise have to wear a mask over my humanity. That's a lot for one individual to have to bear, I feel, even if we all are supposed to play that role. And, it makes me wonder, are other minority groups told this line? Are people of different ethnic backgrounds or whatever told they represent the lot because the majority are so ignorant they think all members of group X or Y are all the same, even if it's not true?
I don't agree with that statement. I'd rather be me. I also agree with what you've said in your post.
I think no matter what you do you are not the blind population. Saying that be as you are, because people are going to think what they want, and experience as they do.
We can't fix what people think about the blind alone.
I don't particularly want to be an embassador for the blind or try to be someone I'm not, but I do keep in mind the fact
that tmost people don't know any blind people and might think that every other blind person is just like me. So, when someone tries to help me in a very unhelpful way, I try to be polite in explaining how they can best help me. I have only lost my temper once with a very ignorant person, but I generally try to be polite. I have needed help a few times in public places and had dozens of people pass me by before I was able to get someone to assist me, so I figure if I'm rude and nasty, that person who did help me might just pass by the next blind person they see who needs help.
i agree with what's been said on here. I don't want to be an ambassador for the blind either. That would be difficult anyway since each and every individual is different so one person can't possibly represent an entire group of people or community.
I think there's a difference between being polite and being perfect. Anyone can choose to be polite or not. But as humans, we can't just make a choice to be perfect. We shouldn't have to represent everyone, and asking anyone to do that would be ludicrous. Perhaps we should start attacking other minority groups with that line, maybe immigrants, for instance. They all have to be upstanding citizens, and get their green card, or they're nothing, just crap on the bottom of someone's shoe to be scoffed at and scraped along the dirty sidewalks. Now, some people do feel that way about illegal immigrants, and that's another debate, but it's not because they're supposedly representing their own population and being ambassadors. The best we can do is each individually live for ourselves the way we want to. If people encountered one rude blind person and now think that every other blind person is rude, not only are they closed-minded, but that's probably not the only prejudice they hold. So who's to say that even if you could live with a golden halo floating over your head that would automatically convince those people that blind people are saints, and might I point out that saintliness isn't, or shouldn't be, what we're going for anyway, who's to say that they wouldn't turn their insecurity and disgruntlement on another race or minority? Because as far as I'm concerned, anyone who can draw a conclusion such as all blind people are dirty, rude, fill in your own word here, is unhappy, insecure, and needs to feel that their anger and dissatisfaction is being directed at a visible target. Another thing that is part of human nature is prejudice, unfortunately. I think we all have them, in varying degrees, but anyone who can't see the line between individuals and groups is on the high end of the spectrum. Aren't I being prejudiced by saying that people who are so bitter are obviously not happy with themselves? The difference is, I can see the inherent wrong in it, and I can admit it. These people cannot. That's what makes them ignorant.
I think Becky said it best. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm an Ambassador for all blind people. That's a bit much. but it is often true that society sees one blind person, and therefore thinks they've seen them all. I don't put undue pressure on myself to be perfect, but I do try to keep in mind that how a person sees me may shape how they see blind people, and conduct myself in a way that represents that as well as I can. Not perfectly, to be sure. Besides, most of it is common sense, and stuff I would want to do anyway. Live and travel as independnetly as possible, be socially skilled and likeable, etc. I'd want to do those things even if I were sighted, I'd imagine, so I don't feel like I'm going way out of my way to change people's opinions.
I agree that we cannot help what society sees or does not see. While I now acknowledge that there is such a thing as a blind community, it is not like race or gender: The blind don't reproduce the blind, don't raise the blind in some sort of cultural paradigm, etc. Blind people are just spotty across all other populations. So being a so-called ambassador is technically impossible.
For those who want to see the bad in blind people all they will do is tell one of us how we are not like 'all those others'. That is not education: it only feeds their stereotype by saying you or I are the exception, but there is still "all those", usually some rabid distortion of a monstrosity made up to make them look good and titilate their fancy.
But Godzilla asked a great question: Are you women running around as ambassadors for women in the workplace, or women in positions of power? Are you gays out proving as ambassadors for the gays? How about blacks? Or us whites? Hey, I am a middle-age straight white guy: some people will automatically say racist, hater, boring, any number of other things just by those characteristics of being male, middle aged, straight and white. But I am not an ambassador to prove or educate everyone else about these things. That is a recipe for failure, no matter how much fun it was for those who tried to tell us this when we were younger.
It makes them feel good, at your expense. And who's got the time or the energy? You'll be more successful running uphill with a sieve trying to fill a bucket.
The interesting thing is, Leo, that this was a blind guy telling us this. Yes, he is an instructor at this place I'm going to now, but he's like us, a blind guy, and he's telling all of us we need to be ambasadors. Nope, I don't buy it and I told the guy as much, in that saying one must be an ambasador makes it sound like quite a hefty overwhelming job when at this point in my development as a human, all I can do is be myself and use the manners my folks taught me. But some days I will spill coffee or drip a little sauce on my shirt front, and if such signs of sloppiness set the tone for how the planet sees me, so be it, whatever, what can I do.
Oh, and one more thing, Leo, white folks don't need ambasadors, they are the majority so are seen as the default setting. LOL!
I totally agree with what Alicia and Becky said before. It is not the metter about either we choose to be the ambassador for the blind or not, is the indirect impact we may have towards the society views on blind people. We no need to be perfect, but we should be polite, even if we may not need any help or any assistant at all, but the next blind person that they come allong may need the help and assistant. We might able to travel independently and safely around the places, but maybe one day, just that day, we might be lost and need that little bit of help. I guess, that is one of the disadvantage being the minority group. Regardless either you are blind, or indian, or muslim, or pragnont and that, you will be somewhat stereotype by others. It is only our choice to minimise that stereotype by educating the society, or we increase the stereotype by behave in certain "blind" way.
But do you think that people walk around going, "gee, I really feel like perpetuating a stereotype today. I feel like wearing clothes that haven't been washed in 2 months, demanding to be waited on hand and foot, and oh, for good measure, let me stand on the corner with a tin cup in my hand begging for change." Of course not! People are people, regardless of how they act. there are just as many dirty, unemployed, down-and-out sighted people as there are blind people. Should we go up to every bum on the street, single them out, and say, "oh boy, look at those ambassadors of the sighted population slacking off again, making the rest of us look bad." It's a double standard, is it not? Of course, my pointing it out doesn't change it, but neither does acting like we have to fix everyone's distorted viewpoint and make them all see the light. Some people are beyond help. Some people are beyond educating. Does that mean we all go around acting like bumbling idiots? Does that mean we all drop our standards and purposely look like slobs? No! We continue to live our lives the way we want to. Some of us will be bums, whether we're blind or sighted. Some of us will kill others, whether we're black, white, Hispanic, Asian, or some combination of every race. Its called humanity, folks, deal with it.
On a final note, Godzilla, I have to ask this, even though I know I'll take heat for bringing this particular angle of it into the discussion, but this topic really makes my blood boil. Are these people you've been speaking with by chance NFB members? Cause, see, it makes a world of difference if they are. that's been my experience, anyway.
SS, I knew you'd be the one to think that just cause people have this view, they're likely NFB members. however, that's not always the case.
Maybe not, but I think it's a fair question to ask. I can always stand corrected.
Oh trust me, even sighted people stereotype against each other. "that guy full of tatoos he must be drug addict", "that lady wharing such a slutty clothes, she must be a prostitude", and so on. Stereotype doesn't exist only with blind people, it exist everyware, with anyone that is a little "unique, or odd, or weird, or strane" than what the society thinks it should be.
You know who stereotypes more than anyone? Teenagers. Because you're a dad, you must be an old fuddy duddy. Because you're a mom, you must be a cranky old lady.
Teenagers stereotype because they can't think beyond generalizations. Part of growing up is to use generalizations as a starting point, not an end point.
True, but this whole thing about being ambassadors takes it a step further. I'm not denying that everyone stereotypes at some time in their life. As I said above, that's human nature. But I do have a problem with this concept that we actually have to be shamed into performing a balancing act, compensating for all the rotten apples in the bunch. No, compensating is too nice a word. Perhaps stomping them out would be more accurate? Anyway, it would be interesting to know if other disability groups put as much undue pressure on each other. Do the deaf expect each other to be ambassadors? How about those in wheelchairs?
So to Godzilla's question and my further elaboration: Where on here are the gay ambassadors for the gays? The women ambassadors for the women? Oh except of course women are the majority of the population but still. You don't see said ambassadors anywhere.
Ok, I'll step up and be the ambasetor for short girls. lol
Seriously though, this sort of dribbledrabble has always rubbed me the wrong way. When I was younger I was told the same thing. I spent years trying to be perfect, never screwing up anything in public. I think it's ridiculous to put that sort of pressure on ourselves because blind or sight, we're human. Our disability is only one characteristic that makes up our whole being. After 5 years of working in Rehab, and working with people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, all ability levels, etc, I figured this out and gave myself a break. Ok, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'd sit in a restaurant rocking back and forth with my fingers dug into my eye sockets up to the wrist or anything like that, lol, but if I happen to get lost and need assistance, or if I happen to look blind because one of my eyes wonders really badly, I think I'll give myself a break. I think it's human nature to want to find a tangible reason for all of our faults.
Sure, we want to put our best foot forward in all circumstances but I'm certainly not going to take responsibility for representing an entire group of people.
Ok, that probably didn't make a hole lot of sense. I think I need more coffee.
And it can seem as if some blind people buy into this perfectionism and hoist it upon other blind people. It's a silly double standard. Let's say, for example, you have a sighted friend who can only make TV dinners in a microwave oven. You don't think too much of it, really, and you might even think it's a bit amusing. However, you meet a blind person, same thing, can only nuke a TV dinner, and there goes the damn neighborhood. You get up in that person's face and start shaking your fist at them, as if they'd notice that, and start ranting and raving about how much of an embarrassment they are to the whole blind community and what if a potential sighted employer found out and oh god oh god oh god how utterly pathetic and useless and incompetent such a person is. Then you go out here on the Zone, create a topic about it, and claim all blind people of that person's gender and age are nothing but useless wastes of time and should all just be taken out and shot in the town square at sunrise for the good of the universe. What the fuck is up with that?
Hmm wishing I could push like on the last post, like Fakebook.
Yeah, the zone really needs a like button. lol
Here's another double standard. a former friend used to come to my house bitching - oh, scuze me, I mean trying to be helpful by complaining, er um, pointing out the dog hair. Then I'd go to the same person's house and there'd be piles of dog shit all over the place. Seriously???? So because I'm blind, it's ok to point out all the flaws but because you're sighted, it's ok to be nasty? I think not. Notice the phrase former friend.
I hate when I here people say that someone makes "us" all look bad. I sometimes say it when I'm feeling in a cruil mood but the fact is that no one person can speak for a population of people. I don't understand where that idea comes from. It goes along with the whole mentality that blind people need to be so far abuv the rest. I hate it!
I think some folks are convinced that if we act like performing seals for people that the bonds of ignorance will fall straight off of them and we will forever more be seen as just regular generic folks. So we'll change from being invisible because we're incomprehensible to being invisible because we blend in and can pass as sighted. None of that inconvenient standing out for us, no way! LOL! I just don't buy it because those who are more comfy being ignorant will rationalize whatever they see. For example, a blind person could create a whole planet with nothing but thought energy and a roll of duct tape and somebody could say, "well, that's amazing for them, but if I went blind today I could never do anything like that, I'd just want to kill myself." LOL!
I disagree to some extent with the last post: People who are militaristic about how the blind appear, or gasp of all gasps, if they dare associate with one another, are very interested in power and control. To pathological proportions.
Divide and conquer is an age-old strategy.
Piles of dog shit? Must have stepped in a few piles, or smelled it at the door and refused that breakfast of microwave Pancakes. Lol
I do what I want, and when a stereotype is mentioned like don't you have a dog, or you do want a wheelchair when I am at an airport I just say no folks speak for me, and go ahead erase the stereotypes out of your head about the blind. We all aren't in one mold. Family wanted me to go to college but because I had been sick in childhood and fell way behind in school, I took up typing in the training center and was blessed with medical transcription jobs for 38 and a half years.
This got me thinking, because it is years since anybody told me that when I'm out I'm an ambassador for the blind.
I was told that if when my shoelace is undone, if I let somebody who offers to tie it do so, I'm giving that person the impression that the blind can't tie shoelaces. I'm not the sort of person who constantly asks people what impression if any I'm giving of the blind, so I don't know whether I did give that person that impression, or whether the blind person who said I did was being paranoid. All that mattered to me is that my shoelace was tied.
I remember a thread on here where somebody was outraged about a blind person not being able to cut their own food, because that apparently could have led people to believe that the blind aren't independent.
Some people may see me as representative of the blind, and others may not. I probably make as much effort to represent the blind as a typical sighted person does to represent sighted people. I think people who are concerned about how the blind are perceived by sighted people should stop being so insecure and paranoid.
exactly. I personally don't give a damn how the majority of the blind are perceived by sighted people. Those days of being insecure of myself are long gone. I'm going to be myself, not pretend to be something I'm not, and if people don't like it, well that's there problem and not mine.
Well, I am going to reverse myself in one area:
I don't believe we are ambassadors of any sort, but here is what I think makes logical sense. We want our right to be judged on our merits rather than a physical disability, we want to be equal and all, and take full responsibility and participate in society.
So what in the blue fuck is up with the blind who then proceed to lay down some hate on the sighted, or join up with groups against the gays, or disempower women, or racist or any of that? The only reason any of us thinks we want to participate fully is that physical concerns are a non-issue. Meaning, if I can do the job and am qualified, I'd like the same opportunities. So if you get your hate on against the sighted, the gays, women, men, other racial groups, you are doing it to yourself. You're saying "Hey, that's ll right go ahead and lay down some smack on us. After all, I do it to other people."
It's the same with those who take entitlements and then complain about other people getting entitlements, who probably need them for the same or different reasons.
I, too, had to use entitlements for a year. But I'm not arrogant enough to assume I'm somehow special; many hardworking Americans of all types find themselves on the rocks for one reason or another. So, if it was me, why not them? These sorts of contradictions are born out of juvenile emotions rather than logical sense.
We all have different views on this topic.
I work with people who are Visually impaired and also Deaf.
As the youngest Employee in my Organisation, my boss always tells me I'm an Ambassador for the Blind and Deaf and that's fine with me. I lead by example out in the public and make sure those who are Blind get best of their ability.
I'm not sure about America but here in my City of Melbourne in Australia we have lots of people who are Blind and we don't really have any top guy who they can look up too. It's not just me who is an Ambassador but there's lots of things which is hard to explain for like I said, you all have different views, and that's fine.
Maybe you should think of yourself as a mentor rather than an ambassador. That seems like a much more positive way to look at it, as it sounds like that's what you're doing. Being someone that people can look up to, whether personally or professionally, is a great thing. But if I were you I'd be careful just how far you take it.
Yeah, thanks good point there. Mentor was the word I was looking for.
But leo, don't we all harbor some hate from time to time? Not saying it's okay to hate on groups of course, but just sayin'